Apologies for being late with my blog post this week. It's Mid Term this week thankfully, however I was given simply tonnes of homework for the week! Thank you very much teachers, you're all far too kind. But on the bright side, I've finished most of the work already, all I have left is my public speaking speech, like 2 maths questions and revision, woop!
So how was my week you ask? Well...
It was a somewhat stressful start to the week. On Monday I had like three tests in the first few classes. First up was Irish, where I had to write two 2 A4 pages about why Lisín was the main character of Hurlamaboc (I came up with a far more accurate term for this short story, which I probably shouldn't mention, seeing as it's quite rude) The test went really well for me and I got a mark I wasn't expecting (An A, first time ever in Irish) Afterwards it was a history essay test given to both history classes, to decide who will be in which class. I had studied Lenin and Stalin in lots of detail and briefly revised Mussolini. You can guess which person the question was about.. Mussolini! Wahey!
To add to the stresses of exams that day. I walked up to my locker and discovered I had forgotten my locker keys! Yay! So I had to phone my Mam and ask her to bring them down (which she did, 5 minutes before class) Usually when I'm on the phone to my Mam I'm very panicky and anxious because, well, I call her when it's an emergency! This time however, I think I probably fractured my motivation and I was ''so done'' with Monday and it was only 8.30 in the morning. Fun times.
The rest of the week was much calmer, some teachers were absent but left work, which I didn't mind to be honest. The week was fairly quiet, I visited my Nana twice during the week (Best grandchild ever) Soon Friday rolled around, time seems to go by slowly when I'm wishing for the opposite. I had free double Maths and I wrote a small blog post about a quote in my journal. Ironically the last thing I've written as I think I have Writer's Block again. Marvellous.
''Last night I was flicking through my school journal, every week there is a quote on the top of the page. As you may know, I am positively obsessed with quotes and their advice and meanings. There was one quote in particular that had a profound effect on me.
''Now is the most interesting time of all''
It is a simple sentence, with a powerful and effective meaning. Perhaps that's what startled me so much. My interpretation of the quote is reflective of my life path at the moment.
''Now'' for me is from this minute, until I sit my last Leaving Cert exam in June 2015. It feels like a marathon of hurdles I must overcome to reach my goal, my dreams and my ambitions for my future. My future, what I want, what I desire.
''Now'' is when I make the possibly life altering decisions. What I'm afraid of most is, that I will not achieve those goals. That all these years of work will be in vain. It's a terrifying and panic inducing thought. What terrified me most however is, NOW, is the time that decides this. I'm plagued by fear and a crippling anxiety that, something's going to happen, that I'm going to slip up somewhere between now and my Leaving Cert year (2015)
It is all focused on Now, and how I play my cards. This, supposedly is the most interesting time of all. It doesn't feel like it. Walking around school like a zombie, bags under my eyes from a lack of sleep that no make-up could ever cover. See there was an exam or two to study for.. I don't find that interesting. A nicer term to describe a generation of people with tired, lifeless and prematurely aged eyes and stress and anxiety levels higher than Mt Everest is just, sad.
A generation of genius' yes, but also a generation plagued by fear in our hearts. A fear of not ''living up to our potential'', that we will be the person who had it all, had a bright future.. but messed up. I promise you all, and myself, I don't want to be that person. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. I guess now is a time to start doing something, because, now is the most interesting time of all apparently.
Hope you enjoyed that and aren't filled with too much guilt over not doing homework (like me)
Stay Strong, Happy and Fearless,
PS. I will be doing a bonus blog post about HALLOWEEN!! Stay tuned! xx