The Transition Of Seasons

Summer turns to Autumn. 

Not all at once, but through a 

Transition of Moments. 

The balmy Summer nights, 

Bright as a firework, adrenaline fuelling the light.

Turning increasingly darker until you pull the curtains at 7pm, 

Darkness already fallen and the daylight long since passed. 

The 99's, once so comforting and relaxing on the beach. 

The sand was warm and soft between your toes as you gazed into the scorching sunshine.

Waves lapping up the beach, the smell of salt in every breath,

Is replaced with endless cups of coffee

And pumpkin spice lattes 

As hot steam swirls gently upwards from the cup .

The denim shorts and cotton t-shirts, 

Once stuck to your skin with humidity,

Are substituted with woolly jumpers, hats and scarves

To warm you against the sudden Autumnal Chill 

As the brown and red leaves crunch softly with every step you take

On the dry, cracked pavements. 

Breaths that were once filled with mugginess, 

Now appear as white steam through the atmosphere and condensation to windows. 

Life, once going by quicker than a stopwatch, 

Slows, 

To the pace of a stroll in the park. 

Frost, Dew and Hope linger in places unexpected. 

Leítír Móir, Galway. 

The Worst Enemy To Creativity Is Self-Doubt ~Sylvia Plath

Hey Everyone!

This week was an utterly crazy and surreal week! I've been studying every night as my Summer Exams are starting next Tuesday *shaky laugh of fear* Due to studying I've been very quiet on the interwebs, my laptop wasn't used from Sunday until Friday evening! I guess it's good that I'm 'weaning' myself off the internet for when I'm in the Gaeltacht.

My awards ceremony in school was on Monday during school time. Basically it's awards from the school for good grades, attendance, sports, music, art, drama, public speaking and lots more. The Principal and Year Head give inspirational speeches about next year (Leaving Cert) and hand out awards whilst everyone else awkwardly claps.

It's quite difficult predicting if you'll get any awards, especially as there's over 250 students in my year all 'competing' for a limited number of awards. I was thrilled to receive 5 awards, it was a total and utter shock! I received two awards for public speaking, as I was a member of the school public-speaking team during the year. One was a little trophy from the school and one from Mental Health Ireland for participating in their public speaking competition. Another was for having a 'Star Journal' basically my journal was very tidy, another was an 'Academic' given only to the top 29 academically in the year, (I was so shocked because there's over 250 in the year) and the last award was being nominated for Student Of The Year, only ten people get nominated each year so I was screaming internally.

I was absolutely thrilled with my awards, I usually get a couple of awards each year but I felt absolutely ecstatic afterwards! Congrats to the boy and girl who won Student Of The Year (Won't name you as I didn't ask permission) you both genuinely deserve the award :D

I had some exams during the week, I had my German and Irish orals (a speaking test) during the school week which were quite stressful. It went well though, I learnt off my sraithpictiur so it went okay! My German teacher even gave me an A for my test so hopefully my written test on Tuesday will be okay.

Today I spent the morning studying, in particular Sylvia Plath for English. I only revised three poems in detail because I felt if I studied more I'd want to put my head in an oven like she did. (Bad pun I know) In honour of Plath and her poetry (which can be quite interesting but depressing)

Afterwards I went to my Cousin's Communion which was brilliant fun. There was two bouncy castle's so guess who went on both? Me, naturally. We all  had a brilliant time. My lovely Aunt gave me the Wi-Fi password so I spent the majority of the time sending snapchats and occasionally socialising.

 I titled this blog post using one of her quotes. I felt that it's a very accurate quote, self-doubt can destroy everything. It's something I suffer from a lot, worrying that I won't be ''good enough'' I feel that it's a huge problem within this current generation. We're all made to feel inadequate in all aspects of our lives, which isn't right. Even a simple awards ceremony like the one I was at this year made me worry about whether I was ''good enough'' to get any awards. I actually couldn't eat my lunch before the awards, I was that worried I'd end up with no awards and was anxious about how I would be perceived because of that.

 I think it's wrong that a girl should feel ill because she's scared she's going to fail. Why are we all trained to believe that we have to be the best and if we aren't the best we're ''failures'' or ''nothing''?  I was lucky, the odds were in my favour, but imagine my self-esteem if I didn't receive any awards? I don't like the feeling or opinion that because you didn't receive an award or the grade you desired that you're a 'failure.' I don't agree with it, especially as it's so prominent in school life. Everything is competition and you're 'inadequate' if you don't receive the best grades or if someone else gets a better mark.

 It feels like I'm in a constant rat race, everyone tries to be the best, but nobody is perfect. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Nobody is perfect, it's an impossible expectation which we are all expected to reach, and feel inadequate because no matter how hard we try, we can't be perfect. Something's got to give. The ideology that we all have to perfect is ridiculous and causes further stress and anxiety, in particular to students. It's a marathon, not a sprint which is something everyone needs to remember.

So that's about it from me this week, I'll be spending the rest of the weekend studying, thankfully my exams begin on Tuesday and end on Thursday, then the summer holidays begin then I'm gone for three weeks to speak Irish in Galway, oops. 

 If you're doing exams, best of luck! You'll be grand!

Stay Strong, Happy & Fearless!

Aveen xx

Photo's from my week!

Selfie with my cousin..

I stole my brother's phone and sent snapchats to all his friends.. 

Selfie with The Sibling. I hope I got better genes.. ;)

Beside one of the bouncy castles!

My awards from the awards ceremony. *cries because shock*

One of my snaps

A random selfie with Dad. I think he'll have to practise the whole selfie thing.. 

Source

Procrastinating in Class

Hey Everyone!

So this is a little extra blog post about The Life Of Me. At this moment I'm sitting in a computers/study class with my friends. Despite being in 5th Year, I actually have very little homework so far.

I guess this is because I just had a free maths class (supervised by my English teacher, awkwardly enough) and finished my homework there. So I'm sitting here, the class as quiet as a mouse, typing my thoughts silently. I'm tired and exhausted from school and work obviously, however it's only 20 minutes until lunchtime.

After lunch I have another study class, then Irish. I like Thursday's only because of the two study classes to be honest. What will I do during study? Who knows! I have some German homework and business homework to do. I'm also reading the third book in the series of 'Noughts and Crosses'' by Malorie Blackman. I've barely read 50 pages, at this early stage I can tell it's going to join my ever growing list of favourite dystopian books. I'd definitely recommend reading them. (I was not paid or sponsored to say that, just so you know. I literally just adore literature and reading. Oh well. BUT, if anyone did want to sponsor me to advertise their products, just email me *giggles nervously*

I'm typing slowly at the moment because the teacher is staring at the screen. He must think I'm absolutely bonkers! For ever in a crowd, alone but not lonely. That saying keeps echoing in my brain all the time, I have absolutely no idea why. It must be credible and true for it to be echoing and bouncing all along my brain like an ever constant buzzing or ticking noise.

11 minutes left. I guess I should probably wrap up this very impromptu and unplanned blog post before it gets even more weird, and not in a good way.

I guess I'll see you all when I see you.

 

I'm going somewhere interesting on Saturday which I'll be telling you all more about on Sunday hopefully!

 

Stay Strong, Happy and Fearless.

Aveen xx

Alone, not lonely.

Hey Everyone!

So it's the end of another tiring week. I knew Fifth Year would be exhausting, but not this much. One thing I don't like about Fifth Year is that you do lots of work and time consuming activities but I can't really write about any of them as they're deemed (by me) to be too boring and lack luster. Oh well, I can live like a hermit for a couple of years, it won't kill me.

I had a few tests during the week and I was happy with my results. I had a free double German and study afterwards so I let my mind wander and wrote a poem (Not depressing or sinister I swear, it's quite optimistic believe it or not!)

Something else of interest to me was the fact that people in my year in school read/know of my blog?! I know I post links to my Twitter & Tumblr, however I didn't think people would actually read my random musings? This has made me feel slightly more cautious and conservative about what I express here (I wasn't really outspoken here to begin with) as for some reason I feel more comfortable sharing my views/life with random strangers than with my peers in education? It's a strange thing really, I feel more comfortable sharing everything with ''strangers'' however I don't feel all you lovely readers are strangers though! You are all a part of my life now, and support me by commenting, emailing and tweeting me. Even by reading this, I feel I nearly know you.

I know some people consider people who read their blogs ''their fan base'' however I consider you all my friends and people I would like to know properly some day in the future. It's easier to tell someone who won't judge you what's going on in your life rather than telling someone who knows you and may judge you for every single world you utter. I was talking to a real life friend of mine about making more YouTube videos because of being offered the partnership and everything, so hopefully in the weeks to come I will record a new video. Wahey.

So that's about it from me for this week. Next week should be more interesting as I'm going to see Othello with my English class on Thursday, September 26th, along with other things going on that day. Should I mention that this might be my last blog post as a sixteen year old?! DUN DUN DUNNNNN. Dramatic ending. Yes, it's my birthday on Thursday and I'll be seventeen! Wow, that was a quick year wasn't it? I think my blog is nearing it's six month old birthday then too! *Counting when I first starting properly blogging on a weekly basis, not my mediocre attempts!*

Playlist for this blog post:
The Strypes ~ Blue Collar Jane
The Strypes ~ Mystery Man
Kodaline ~ One Day
Kodaline ~ Brand New Day
Kodaline ~ Pray

*It was a Kodaline day for me today!

.

A photo from my ''Room Tour'' on the JOALLAP collab blog I'm part of! Find it here!

Here's a photo I saw on Carrie Shade's 'Against Suicide' page, I think it's so truthful and accurate.

So that's about it from me this week!

Stay Strong, Happy and Fearless!

Aveen xx

My ''poem'' wahey

Alone, not lonely. 

I am alone, not lonely. 

Sitting in class, on the outskirts. 

The crowd everywhere but near me.

I sit, silent and diligent.

In my own, perfect world.

For being lonely would imply I desire company.

I am alone, on my own terms

and above all, my decision and choice.

I am not alone, with my thoughts,

dancing softly in my mind.

A constant buzzing, never leaving me in darkness.

One can never be truly alone, however some can be lonely.

Not me though.

For when I possess thoughts, a pen and paper. 

One can never be truly lonely or alone. 

UPDATE: A Bet I Had, oops.

Hey Everyone!

So this is a not so brief update on The Life Of Me. Last week my English teacher gave my class the essay title of ''The unexamined life is not worth living'' which is a title of one of my blog posts recently. I jokingly said to my friend of Maeve's Fashion that ''If I got an A1 in the essay I would post it on my blog!'' as I was expecting a B or a C as it was such a tricky and difficult title.

So, to my shock and delight, I actually got an A1 on the essay and I'm staying true to my word and posting it on my blog. (Even though I found out that practically everyone in my year knows I have a blog but oh well!)

The Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living ~ Aveen Edition!

''The unexamined life is not worth living'' is a famous quote by the Greek philosopher Socreates. Socreates was a man who discovered a great wealth of knowledge and will have his actions echo in time and live on after his death. As a philosopher, Socreates was generally not hypocritical in his words, therefore he claims to have lived ''The examined life'' as he believed than living ''the unexamined life is not worth living''. However, what does he mean by an examined life and an unexamined life?

First of all, everyone has a life. Everyone has a past, present and hopefully a future. Our lives are constantly changing with every decision we make. For example, you are given homework in a certain subject. Unknowingly, you have a number of options to take, to do the homework and achieve a good result in a future exam. Another option is to not complete the homework and possibly fail an examination in the future, why? You made the decision not to do your homework, this slightly changed your life path and life experiences. 

However there is a different between living whilst making both good and bad decision, but having new and utterly surreal opportunities due to these decisions, and just merely existing in this world. In other words, being a normal human being who makes mistakes, or trying to be perfect and living without questioning. Only existing in the world is something which should never befall a person. Existing means just being on this planet doing the exact same thing daily, never questioning your thoughts and actions and never wondering about what would happen if you did something different for once. It is living in ignorance, or a lack of knowledge. Obviously when you are in school you do the same thing daily, it's what you were told to do, getting an education is the key to your future and how to leave the state of existence and actually live your life, on your terms. 

However living is different to the state of existence on this planet. Living is taking risks, obviously not ridiculous ones, and accepting that they will change and edit your life path and future in unfathomable ways. Living is like the ''Dauntless'' in the book Divergent by Veronica Roth. They do absolutely anything they want. They jump off fast moving trains and they learnt not to be fearless, but how to keep their fears under control. Nobody is perfect enough to be fearless, that would merely be existing, not facing your fears, not feeling the simultaneous rush of adrenaline rush through your body and mind. Also no fun or chaos in their life.

The Dauntless inspired the protagonist, Beatrice (later known as Tris) to join their faction. Tris was born and raised ''Abnegation'' faction, they are selfless, help others and aim to be invisible and not disturb others. They live in a state of existence and Tris' will to live overcame that. The Dauntless are happy and free, something which so many people are not. They do not live to exist, they are living, questioning, expanding their wealth of knowledge, breathing oxygen and adrenaline and excitement swirls in their veins. The Dauntless are examining exactly what the small world around them has to offer. They lived in one small dilapidated city in a dystopian fantasy world, so why can't people live and not just exist in our society?

Our world is huge. There are so many different lands, seas, cultures and nations to visit. To broaden your horizons is to live. Living life on the edge gives you opportunities you never thought were possible, until they materialised. With merely existing, those opportunities would never occur. As only existing on this planet, you would go to school, work hard, graduate college, get married and have children, end of story. You would not question anything or attempt to find your true inner self. What a lonely and depressing existence indeed. If you're living and not just existing, you would begin to question and discover your inner self by making decisions, accepting imperfections like fears and expanding your wealth of knowledge by learning life skills, about diversity and culture, not just what you learnt off by heart in a school textbook for a test. That is the difference between living your life to your utmost potential and just merely existing, never pondering or doing anything unusual or different with your life.

You are a human, along with everyone else, and you have one life. (Unless you believe in reincarnation, however I'll stick with having one life for the time being) It is up to each and every individual to live the best life possible and not just a miserable existence. Mark Twain once said, ''Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do, than by the things you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover'' This quote is very strong and effective, it makes one realise what may happen should they only exist in the world or lead an unexamined life. Such thought would not occur of you lived an examined life, as you would have fulfilled probably everything you had wanted (within reason) for you and your future.

I believe the unexamined life is not worth living. Once you realise you have only been existing you become filled with regret. Over what would have been. Everyone should aim to live an examined life and to dream impossible dreams. It is not too late for anyone my age to begin leading an examined life, to be remembered and to live on after your death is a beautiful thing. However should you be older, it may be too late as you've lived an unexamined life, and an unexamined life is not worth living.

*** So, I guess that's my essay! I hope you enjoyed it or if you're confused on any part of the essay just ask me about it, I'll be more than willing to answer any queries!

**************Hi to everyone in school who has found my blog and never told me. Awkward moment this week when I found out the majority of my peers knew about my ramblings!

Stay Strong, Happy and Fearless!

Aveen xx

My Turbulent Back To School Week!

Hey Everyone!

It's been a CRAZY week in the Life of Me, I started back to school this week and I've been part of the J.O.A.L.L.A.P blog collaboration! Despite all the work I've been doing, I'm quite alert, hyper and giddy. Perhaps it's over-tiredness, I'm not quite sure!

I went back to school on Wednesday which, was eventful. I started in Fifth Year, last year I was in Transition Year so it was a huge wake up call on Wednesday. The teachers/principal began Assembly speaking about the Leaving Certificate, CAO applications and of course, university and college. What a lovely way to calm me, not. I literally left the Assembly panicking and hyper-ventilating. No, I promise I wasn't that bad however it felt like it.

So far I really like all my teachers, I'm doing all Honours/Higher Level subjects, yes even maths! I was delighted to have been put into all Honours classes. Based on experience from when my brother was in Leaving Cert years, it's a lot of hard work. Most of your time is spent working on projects, studying and revising. Which means less blogging time! I'm still committed to posting here at least once a week don't worry, I just won't be posting YouTube video's for the foreseeable future sadly.

It's the only logical decision as I don't want to stop blogging, YouTube takes up a lot of time. Between filming, editing and uploading it can take several hours. Blogging on the other hand, well I just type whatever what pops into my head. I do some brainstorming and write down what I have to include in that post. Perhaps over mid-term and other holidays I'll post videos. At the moment I have TWO recorded videos, unedited, but they exist!

I was studying for a few hours today (I did my homework and note writing last night) and I was revising my Irish vocab when my neighbours started shouting loudly at each other in the garden (something about a clothes line I have no idea) and I shouted in Irish back at them (from my bedroom) oops. In English, I said ''I'm not able to learn my Irish vocab because you're both shouting at the top of your voices in the garden, thank you!''  (I am a sarcastic person)

I've been in 5th Year TWO days and I'm already shouting at people in Irish. I worry for myself. I didn't even go on the internet for two days, which is a world record for me. I didn't even go on Twitter to see what Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil were up to! (Not even Tumblr!)

Also, it has come to my attention that several people from my school have been reading my blog! I don't post links to my blog on Facebook, only on Twitter & Tumblr, so HEY! So far I've had a fairly positive response from my peers. A cousin of mine also found my blog last week, I guess the secret's out! ;)

Also, in other very important news, an Irish poet (and an absolute favourite of mine) Seamus Heaney passed away yesterday at the age of 74. I know I'm not a literary genius or particularly eloquent, however I feel the need to express how literature has lost such an amazing person. For my Junior Cert, my main poet was Seamus Heaney, from what I can recall, I wrote about either ''Mid Term Break'' or ''Digging'' If you haven't read ''Mid Term Break'' I would highly recommend it, however I still cry after reading the poem. The last line particularly affects me, ''A four foot box, a foot for every year'' It sends chills up my spine, it's so beautiful and poetic, yet so deeply saddening.

R.I.P. Seamus Heaney, you will be sorely missed in the world of literature.


Playlist for this blog post:
Fall Out Boy ~ Just One Yesterday
The Band Perry ~ If I Die Young
The Killers ~ The Way It Was
The Coronas ~ Heroes or Ghosts
The Script ~ If You Ever Come Back
The Killers ~ Somebody Told Me
The Coronas ~ Won't Leave You Alone
Fall Out Boy ~ Young Volcanoes
Paramore ~ Anklebiters

Back to school *gasps with horror*

A way to describe back to school. (Except with more sorrow and horror)

So that's about everything for this week!

Stay Strong, Happy and Fearless!

Aveen xx