2015; A Reflection and Review of Sorts

2015 was quite simply, an adventure filled, adrenaline fuelled year. I cannot recall being on such a positive upward spiral in one year. I suppose after having so many negative, depressing years, I was bound to have a year I could actually call my own.

 In my mind this year is split in two parts. The first being the Leaving Cert and the second, After the Leaving Cert. This year was utterly surreal and probably the most fulfilling year I've experienced, developing as an adult with responsibilities, becoming braver and more willing to speak up and be counted for.

 As I went through my photo albums for photographs to insert, I was pleasantly surprised at how many photographs I had at my disposal to use. In my mind I felt that I did nothing except study, sit exams and work. It seems I actually did do some socialising! Here's my 2015.

January: 

The year started with the hilarious meme of 'New Year New Ewe' sent by Grace, which still makes me giggle. I succumbed to buying a selfie stick - which is presently in Limerick, oops. I visited my future college, Mary Immaculate College in January on their Open Day. As I walked around the campus, covered in frost and ice, a shiver went up my spine, I could sense that I needed to be here. If only I knew that in December 2015 I would be running around the campus doing exams and completing assignments!

I was studying, which explains the books and flashcards. I have issues with my writing hand so I had to start wearing the muscle support as seen below as my left hand was in agony. Thankfully it sorted itself out but I wore the support in the exams in June. I also questioned if animals did the Leaving Cert and wanted to become a cat.

February: 

Mid term in February consisted mainly of the first ever blogger meetup Grace and I attended! We met up with Jane, Chloe, Sarah, Aoife and Celine in Dundrum. We had all been talking online for a lengthy amount of time before we actually all met up face-to-face. It's a strange experience meeting friends from the internet, you feel as if you know everything about them, even though you don't know what their voices sound like. 

Grace and I also filmed an AwkwardSprinkles video (I think?) We went to get hot chocolate and have a gossip session and took tonnes of selfies. My friend Maeve turned 18 and the squad was out in force to celebrate. 

March: 

Grace and I went to Dublin Zoo with Spleodar, where I fangirled over goats, took photos of green lizards and we ate amazing pizza. Grace turned 16 and had a party to celebrate. I also took a horrid selfie from the St. Patrick's Day Parade on the main stage, oops. I was deep in the throes of sraithpictiúr and needed any excuse to try make myself laugh. I still think An Criú Craiceáilte are the epitome of squad goals. 

April: 

My favourite Easter tree was in my room. Grace and I met up to film. I just realised that we filmed possibly a couple of times during the year but never uploaded the footage. My friends Maeve and Caítlín both turned eighteen so a couple of nights out were had, photo below (a couple of the girls were accidentally cropped out as the photo was too large to fit properly, sorry!) The Vote Yes to the marriage referendum bus arrived in the car park of my old secondary school one afternoon and handed out lots of Yes/ Tá badges. 

May: 

I voted for the first time in May. I also finished secondary school. We all got hoodies, mine said 'Queen of Peasants' in reference to a long-running joke that year. We had our awards ceremony, took photos with all our friends (some of whom got cropped out of this photo, I am so sorry!) I wrote a number of articles for the yearbook, in particular this piece which I forgot I even submitted! It was a strange sensation to leave a place where I had been to school for six years. We had our grad mass and the year group went out to celebrate afterwards. (Photo in the first collage) 

June: 

The days passed quickly as the exams loomed. Cue mental breakdowns, anxiety and relief repeated for each individual exam, oh yes, the Leaving Cert! It feels so long ago thankfully. June was dominated by sets of booklets and pink paper. I was disgusted as Bono appeared on English Paper One in a comprehension. I watched Game of Thrones a lot between exams (I made the mistake of watching the last episode the night before my business exam and cried for a half hour then resumed revision) I liked the quote in the middle a lot, I knew these exams were the key to unlocking everything I wanted to study in third level. 

July: 

I relaxed and recuperated for a lot of July. Grace and I went to another blogger meetup in Dundrum, meeting Sarah, Jane, Cliona, Karolina and her friend Sarah! My friend Caítlín sent me a photograph of the Blogger t-shirt which most of us ended up buying! Starbucks spelt my name right, a worthy cause of celebration. I did a number of shopping hauls too, a strange choice for me.

August: 

Ah, the Leaving Cert results were released on the 12th. I might have had several existential crises in the run up to their release. ie crying, watching Netflix for hours on end and eating copious amounts of ice cream with nerves. I don't really recommend experiencing inner turmoil, it's not very pleasant. It all worked out in the end, I got more points than I needed for primary teaching, which was surreal. I accepted my CAO offer at 6.04 as the offers started at 6 am. The squad was out in force once again, having cupcakes and pink lemonade. A week later was our Debs. It was fantastic to see everyone dressed so wonderfully and in such high spirits. It was hard choosing which photos to put in the collage. Grace sent me a supportive photo of my favourite things, sheep and flower crowns. The Sibling also graduated from University too.

September: 

I started college in Limerick, which was a huge change from how life had been beforehand. My little 3 year old cousin gave me this lovely card, which is still on my bookshelf in Limerick. The first few weeks are an absolute blur, I made lots of new friends, joined various clubs and societies and went on nights out. I turned nineteen which still freaks me out. 

October: 

Katie Taylor visited Mary I in October, between lectures a couple of us went to see her. I hung up a Halloween decoration in my room, just to liven things up a little. The grounds around Mary I are beautiful, with gorgeous autumnal leaves surrounding the pitches. The Foundation Building looks stunning at night too. A couple of the girls and I went exploring and found an amazing ice-cream place which was wonderful. I went to see Ed Sheeran's 'Jumpers for Goalposts' as well as other films. A number of us ordered an obscene amount of pizza one night, as seen below. Only in college!

November: 

I participated in my first ever colour run! The Mary I Art Society held a colour run on campus which was utterly fantastic. We went to see Spectre and Brooklyn in the cinema in Limerick and to see The Unlucky Cabin Boy in the Lime Tree, all of which were excellent. Sam and I went to see Nathan Carter. It was my second time seeing him live and meeting him, he's so lovely! I met up with my friend Maeve for our first catchup since my birthday in September. The Lime Tree put up a #WakingTheFeminists sign too which I definitely support. The Parents and I went Christmas shopping and had amazing hot chocolate in Butler's. 

December: 

My brother turned 22 so I made a terrible meme of Taylor Swift's song, referencing, 'I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22'' along with a photo of him in a pram in the snowy garden, oh well. Cliona, Kate and I went to the Jerry Fish Electric Sideshow which was amazing. The Strypes performed too and were just surreal. I got the setlist from the stage (thanks again Kate) We saw The Strypes before the gig but didn't get any photos, maybe next time! I got my hair cut a lot shorter which warranted a selfie. In Limerick city I got a 'goats in trees' calendar which basically summarised the meaning of my existence. So for my room in Limerick I have a goats calendar and for home I have a Sherlock calendar for 2016, delighted. I went out Stephen's night and bumped into lots of old friends which was great. I accidentally created an optical illusion by photographing a mini Coca Cola bottle in front of our Christmas themed tea pot. I also got a Sherlock colouring book among my Christmas presents, it's just so fun! Among other things, I got Adele's new album, an Orla Kiely notebook and a Hogwarts notebook which all coordinated so I couldn't resist a photo.

I also did shopping in the Christmas sales, I'll have a haul up soon as it hasn't arrived in the post yet. 

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed 2015 but I know that the past few days for many of my old classmates has been a terrible and upsetting time. The 252 heart beats and people in our school year that were united by the exams and Leaving Cert became 251 this week. As we approach the New Year, I hope everyone finds the comfort and strength they need. 

2015 is swiftly approaching it's end. I wish you all a happy, prosperous, safe and healthy New Year.

Stay strong and fearless

Aveen x

2014; A Reflection.

Hey Everyone!

As this year draws to a close, I'd like to reflect on the previous 365 days that I've lived. In my ear is 'Bad Blood' from Taylor Swift's new album '1989,' yet I don't feel that I can relate to the song nor feel resentment towards this year.

2014, in a nutshell, was a surprise. It was a year where I surprised myself and was surprised by others, in a pleasant way thankfully. My first blog post for 2014 was titled, ''Everything's Got To End Sometime, Otherwise Nothing Would Ever Get Started''  which is a quote from Doctor Who. I was silently hopeful that the year would pan out well, a stark contrast to previous years, and would lead to a positive development in my character and life experiences. 

Needless to say, I am in slight shock when I think of everything this year so far. I had to read through some blog posts to refresh my memory of the year (most of my brain has been filled with information necessary for exams, so I tend to spout out a lot of facts, particularly about animals) So it has been interesting and refreshing to read and relive past memories from throughout the year. 

One of the many things that struck me was the lack of self-confidence in myself early on in the year. I had taken quite a few knocks in the past few years and continued becoming more of myself throughout the year. Last year I didn't really like interacting with my peers in school, as I was scared of what they'd say and how they would 'judge' me. At this moment in time I don't really care any more, how we all see ourselves is a lot more important than how others see us. 

This little piece of the internet has grown too! In a blog post from January 2014, I thanked you all for having reached 12,000 page views, as of now, it's over 44,400 page views. Wow! That means the page views have trebled in a year! You guys mean so much to me. Every page view of my blog and posts means the entire world to me, so an absolutely huge and heartfelt thank you to all you lovely readers!

My 2014.

I started the year with high hopes of a happy and joyful new year, needless to say I was in for a treat. I began an obsession with Snapchat, took selfies with my new Harry Styles cut-out (who is still chilling in my room, he says hi) I cried over seanfhocal, made hot chocolate a lot and did Christmas sales hauls! Overall, January was a good month, 

February was filled with blog posts and Costa coffee. Costa had just opened down the road from my house and humorously is called 'Cost-a-fortune' by my Dad. (Ask Grace if you don't believe me) There were huge storms battering the local seaside town and the waves gushed everywhere, needless to say I was there with a camera! AwkwardSprinkles re-emerged after a break due to all the school work and we recorded videos and took copious amounts of selfies!

I got new glasses in March! According to my brother I became a hipster. I kept studying and doing my homework, wrote quotes and covered my bedroom walls with their inky words of advice. I attended Grace's birthday party and we all had a very good time. Later on, I went to the Slógadh Spleodar in Carlow and we all indulged in Supermacs! For Ag Science we travelled a local farm and towards the end, we all had to take a selfie beside the silage. I wish I was joking, but it's still funny to think about now.

In April, the John Green Book Shrine emerged from it's isolation, complete with quotes and a candle. I encountered an Audi R8 (one of my favourite cars in the world) literally outside my school and of course, got photos taken beside it, no shame. I went to my friend Caítlín's 17th but I've no photos, it was a day to experience, not capture with a camera lens. We saw The Amazing Spiderman and basically all of us cried. I started taking photos for OOTD's around this time too. AwkwardSprinkles bounced back (yay!) and I did a massive Penneys haul for the Gaeltacht! 

When I wasn't studying manically for summer exams, I went to Costa in the warm weather, took selfies with my Dad, took selfies with oil seed rape for ag science, attended a Communion, won awards in school and caused a drama llama Apocalypse over an award for a mental health speech just be mentioning it here on TRLOA (#NeverForget) I also started packing for the Gaeltacht, with hindsight in hand now, I brought far too much to Galway.

June was a definite highlight for me in 2014. I went to the Gaeltacht!I spent three majestic weeks on the other side of the country, speaking Irish, going to ceilís, the siopa and attending Rang Ardteist. We were all so lucky with the marvellous weather we had over there. I came home 22 days later with a brown face despite bringing suncream! Up above are some of my friends, I had over 120 photos so I condensed it as much as possible. Those three weeks were utterly fantastic, along with the hilarious letters Grace sent me about all the gossip back home!

July was a good month too. AwkwardSprinkles was back with a bang, I went to parties, took selfies and photos of daisies and got a new pair of Converse! I went back to my summer job and my face got even more tanned throughout the good weather. The loom bands obsession took hold at this time and I spent many happy afternoons making different designs of loom bands! I also became obsessed with Game of Thrones, a decision that was definitely a brilliant one.

Grace, Viv, Leah and I went to the bank holiday festival and saw 'White Chalk' and my favourite, The Rip Tide Movement perform! We braved some of the amusements and went to the local fashion show. It was a brilliant weekend. At a party we all got photobombed too. Grace and I were both nominated in 'The Blog Awards Ireland' which was a massive achievement for our blogs. We were even featured in our local newspaper so when I returned to school, all my teachers either congratulated me or wrote the details of the website and where to vote for me on the whiteboard for my fellow peers to take down and vote! (Genuinely happened!) A lot of voices of dissent quietened in school about my blog too which was a nice bonus. I also bought a new laptop which I adore. In late August I started my last year of school, Sixth Year *gulps*

I turned 18 in September and I still don't feel like an adult. I had a party with my friends and we all had a brilliant night. I was given an Orla Kiely handbag by my parents and bought another one later on after my birthday, I loved her designs that much! I visited MIC and went to Higher Options and ran into some friends from the Gaeltacht (with hilarious conversations and stories as a result) as well as bumping into Rachel from OhHeyThereRachel!

As a mature adult, I went to a Tommy Tiernan gig! It was a hilarious night filled with laughs and giggles as well as sore stomachs from laughing so much. Aware emailed me about their workshops for Leaving Cert students (which, coincidentally I had attended that week!) so I wrote a blog post about it. I did another Penneys haul, procrastinated on Tumblr, drank lots of tea and made cupcakes for Halloween! I also went to my friend Robyn's house for Halloween and we all had a brilliant night.

November began with a flying start, I went to see Nathan Carter in concert! I didn't know I was going until 4 hours before the concert as my aunt and uncle couldn't attend, so they very, very kindly gave my brother and I the tickets instead. We got to meet Nathan afterwards, he's a lovely lad! I also became quite sick this month, hence the shortage of photos. I received a certificate from Swipe Festival after coming joint-second in the Digital Story Telling competition. I also became a blood donor and received my blood donor card! Whilst I was sick, I mainly watched Game of Thrones, American Horror Story and The Walking Dead, as well as reading several books. In essence, I needed time off, I had such extreme fatigue I could barely do a thing. 

 

I went back to school in December, with a lot of ''Welcome Back!'''s and ''Where were you!'s said during the first couple of days. I went to Athlone to the Slógadh Spleodar but in all honesty, I was too sick to enjoy it as much as I should have. I filled out my CAO for college *terrified screams* We did Kris Kindle amongst my friends and I received the most beautiful and thoughtful present from my friend Chloe. Christmas was lovely too, I was spoiled really with the presents I received. I'm humbled and eternally grateful for the gifts. It was great to spend a few days with my family and friends just relaxing. 

So that was my 2014.

2015 looks to be a good and interesting year. I'm sitting my Mock Exams in early February and of course my Leaving Cert in June. I'm studying hard to get the results I want. In September I will, fingers crossed, be attending the college I've been dreaming of since I was young. In September I will also be 19, what?! Overall, I'm looking forward to 2015, it's going to be a tough slog through studying, but I'm always prepared to put in my very best effort, hard work and determination to achieve what I want. 

''If it's meant to be, it's up to me'' 

I wish you all the very best for 2015, I hope you all have a healthy and prosperous New Year.

Here's to another successful year for The Random Life of Aveen. 

Stay Strong, Happy and Fearless,

Aveen xx

A Letter To My Ten Year Old Self..

Hey Everyone!

As you can tell by the title of this blog post, this is a letter to my ten year old self, basically if I could meet my ten year old self, I would offer myself this advice. So here goes!

Dear Aveen, (Aoibhainne, long story okay)

Well, this is weird. You thought of this idea in work and thought it would be a cool thought. At this moment, it’s nearing the end of summer 2014. Which in all honesty was a pretty good summer for you. The Gaeltacht, a summer job, blogging and just, living. Living and breathing happily with no anxiety or worry building in your stomach is quite a good thing. I think going back to your time it’s a completely different scenario filled with the things I hate now.

Age ten, being told you have your whole life ahead of you (which is true) but feeling stuck in a never ending spiral of hate, tears and questions. The year you got your first mobile phone, the purple one with the pretty design. You were also in Fourth Class, the year you started writing in your diary about what everyone in school was doing to you. I still have that diary in my room despite not writing in it for nearly seven years. It’s painful to read whenever I muster up the courage to, but you’re stronger now for going through it all.

At the moment life is really good. I’m nervous for starting Sixth Year, a time you never thought would ever come. It always felt like you would never escape that gravelly yard with the ‘gold stones’ which you all collected in the pencil sharpener.  Even then you were so determined to do well in the Entrance Exam for secondary school. To get away from all those awful girls was one of your main plans for years. Good news is that you do get away from the majority of them which makes you content for a while. A word of advice, those who you trust most mightn’t share the same trust and respect for you. The people you thought you could trust most, will try drag you down past their low level but all you can do is keep your head held high and ignore all their online taunts and be a bigger better person with the moral high ground.

Please don’t be ashamed of my actions. When the flashbacks start when you’re older, don’t ignore them. Please. Do something about it and go see someone earlier than I should have. When the darkness starts following you in the inescapable maze, fight it and fight it hard. There’s so many more happy times to follow, not just for you age ten but for me, a month off eighteen. Remember that ‘’Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, but only if one can remember to turn on the light’’ You read it in The Goblet Of Fire aged seven remember?

You’ll get glasses in another year. It seems so horrible at first, these grotesque awkward things on your face but when you have good vision wearing them you won’t complain for long. Your chubby cheeks will disappear in a few years. They might start calling you ‘’Four eyes’’ and countless other insults but trust me, you’ve something they don’t, imagination, motivation and a hell of a lot of determination. I can say this enough, It Gets Better, I promise. Just hold tight, something that seems impossible when you’re desperately hiding your tear stained cheeks and red eyes from the teachers and those awful girls every day in that horrible playground.

At the moment in 2014 you have a much better life. You feel happy, you remember what a smile is and you know how to produce one on your own face with one dimple on your right cheek. You still have glasses but they’re actually kind of cool. You have a blog that’s been nominated for awards and people actually email you for advice on blogging and all sorts. Slightly weird thing to balance with studying Leaving Cert subjects at Honours level. Yes, even maths! The reason you were so awful at maths in 4^th class is because you couldn’t actually SEE the board, despite your arguments that you could. You actually love school now, you always loved learning but even more so now with teachers that have faith in you and know you are so determined to do well and become a primary school teacher. Yes, STILL you want to be a primary school teacher even though your experience of the place was so horrific.

However, maybe that’s why. To stop any other innocent child from having to cope with so many horrible bullies, self-doubt, self-loathing and general atrocities that you did. I’m not saying the next few years will be easy, they won’t be I can promise that. But, they will help you develop into a more confident girl, still striving for perfection in your school work and with that same hard work ethic and determination that the ten year old girl with tear stained cheeks attempted to strive for.

Keep Strong.

Aveen. (It’s only Aoibhainne in school now, yay!)