I suppose I am known for controversy on this blog, however this subject is deeply personal for me and has been an extremely negative part of my life for as long as I can remember so these are my views, and you may not like them. (And that's okay, we are all so diverse)
I've been reading a lot of blog posts recently about ''skinny shaming'' and how unfair it is to smaller framed people. It's not right, however, I'd like to mention fat shaming and how I have experienced so much of it as a young child and into early adolescence. I was never the thinnest child around the age of 9 or 10, but I would never have been classed as ''fat or obese'' medically. Yet I was by my peers. I experienced such awful abuse at a young age for being ''too big'' yet when we're children, particularly girls aged around 10 or 11, the majority of them are pudgy.
I had such little self-confidence until around the age of sixteen-and-a-half due to this and various other factors. I used to loathe buying clothes, as I would never be wearing a size 8 or 10. I remember a girl in my year during Transition Year talking about her size moaning that ''I'm actually a size 6, but my ass is an 8'' and sighing as if it was a global calamity.
My self-confidence increased when I started writing here on this little blog, yet also with having a growth spurt and thinning out a little. It's the same for a lot of girls. I think it's scary how we place so much self-worth into how others perceive us, instead of our talents and skills. I love school and do well in subjects, but for many, that wouldn't matter, only my looks would. I think this ideology is in a way, terrifying. Many focus on their exterior selves much more than their interior selves. I ask you, what is the point of being beautiful on the inside and be ugly on the inside from putting others down?
Of course it is perfectly fine to care about how you look. I always do something with my hair in particular. Whether I straighten it and put a cute bow or wear a huge doughnut bun. I like to make an effort. But it's when it consumes you and you forget about what's on the inside.
So this brings me back onto skinny and fat shaming. It shouldn't happen full stop. But I feel that I've been reading so many blog posts about SKINNY SHAMING, and nobody will speak out against fat shaming, which I experienced for such a long time during an important time of psychological development as a young girl. I'm better now, I even take OOTD's and take selfies, for fun. I don't hide any more. I stand up tall and wear skinny jeans all the time.
But girls have to stop putting each other down based on their size, appearance, body shape or even hair style. Just because someone isn't the same body shape as you, doesn't give you the right to call them out on it. I'm 5''8 with curves and hips. A lot of girls have an athletic figure or all sorts of figures, just because they're different doesn't mean you should tell them they're ''weird'' or even ''fat'' It's just disgusting and shows contempt and ignorance (in the context of lack of knowledge) on your behalf.
I think at times that society has conditioned us to believe that unless you have the ''perfect'' body, you have nothing. Excuse me, but I would rather have good grades than a flat stomach (but having both would be preferable!) We've all become so accustomed to seeing Size Zero models on the runways, airbrushed on magazines and on television. I often wonder, if a regular sized girl was to appear on a runway, would she be called normal or would she be considered the awful F word? It's definitely food for thought.
On a final note. Don't partake in body shaming, whether it be fat or skinny shaming. We are all unique individuals with unique experiences. Calling someone an unkind word could lower their self-confidence and esteem even further when they may already have body issues. Nobody is perfect. I've seen girls who look like models, with beautiful exterior looks, be the worst people, constantly putting others down and gossiping in the back of the classroom judging everyone on their appearance. Be kind to people. If anyone says hello to me in the corridors, I always make it a point to say hi back and ask how they are. You don't know what anyone is going through. Some days we need someone to ask how we are, or to say that they like your new hairstyle or scarf. Above all, be a good person on the inside. What goes around comes around.
Stay Strong, Happy & Fearless
Aveen xx
