'Singing I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare''

Hey Everyone!

It has been a long time to say the least since I have written here. As you may expect, the preparation for the Mocks and ultimately the Leaving Cert does leave me with little time. Time is a luxury few Leaving Cert students can afford. I should probably inform you all about the wondrous and soul-soothing things I've been up to as of late!

As a Sixth Year with Mocks starting on Monday (English Paper Two, along with Irish Paper One) time is truly of the essence so any time I get to relax, I truly savour it. I try to stop studying at around 9.30 on school nights (I need copious amounts of sleep just to function) so I do 3-4 hours of homework and study each school night. Weekends are easily 4 hours a day and then the evenings to relax.

Last Saturday I treated myself to the Divergent DVD and sadly, instead of blogging, watched it instead! I had watched the film when it was in the cinemas but really wanted to watch it again. It's such a rarity to actually sit down for two hours to watch a film and not be plagued by thoughts of the Mocks or Leaving Cert. The exams and hours of study consume your entire life for a school year. It really isn't pleasant but I'm optimistic all these hours of study will be worth it all in the end. (It's the only thing you can hope for, isn't it?)

School has been as can be expected. Talk of Mocks, Debs, Leaving Cert, CAO, all hang over every conversation at The Bench. It genuinely causes you to sit back slightly and think,
 'This is real. This is happening. It's not just my mind thinking that this is happening, it is actually happening.' It is both a source of anxiety and a mixture of reluctant excitement with shock.

We watched for years as Sixth Year groups came and went from the school, leaving us remaining, now it's our turn to leave. Soon we won't even be secondary school students, we'll be finished and moving onto ambitious and life-changing places. It does lead to your breath hitching in your throat occasionally when you think about it.

I'm studying for the Mocks, but I don't want to work so hard that I burn out before the Leaving Cert, if that makes sense. We're told to do well, BUT, not too well. Yet good grades are expected. But if you get an A you'll be marked down. I am planning to aim for a grade below what I'm planning on getting in the real LC. I  think that's reasonable and leaves a sturdy foundation to work on for June.

Down below are some photos (mainly photos I've sent on Snapchat) during the time I have been absent from my blog.

Asking the serious questions whilst wearing a cat onesie.

Watching 'Divergent' and crushing on Ansel Elgort, as you do.

Waiting for pizza when The Parents and The Sibling travel to Limerick and you have a study day.

Home alone on a Sunday. Fun, fun fun. 

The most delicious drink ever. 

Oranges look so happy. Keeping up with my Vitamin C during study. 

My 'To-Do' list last week.. Oh the joys.

I might have mentioned it, but I've been listening to Fall Out Boy non-stop lately! (Along with Taylor Swift and Hozier) This weeks title comes from the Fall Out Boy song 'Novocaine'

So that's about it for this week, tomorrow the mass cramming resumes! 

Stay Strong, Happy & Fearless!
Aveen xx

''Free And Young And We Can Feel None Of It''

Hey Everyone!

This is my first lifestyle blog post of the year! I can't honestly comprehend how quickly the year has been so far. I never quite realised that ten days could pass by in such a hasty fashion. I went back to school this week, which was in one word, traumatising.

I started the week by contracting tonsillitis, exactly what a Sixth Year needs on their first day back after Christmas! I woke up at 2.30 am, struggling to swallow anything and in general agony. I went to the doctor at 7 am, got some medicine (I nearly said the Irish word, help) and went onto school at 9 am. Many people thought I was insane (I could barely talk) but when you're in Leaving Cert there is genuinely nothing you can do but stick it out. missing out on valuable classes is truly not an option.

I managed through school, it was the first time since I had fatigue late last year that I felt back to normal in school, both physically and academically. I'm academically back where I was before I was absent which is such a relief, considering how close the Mocks are. . .

I don't really want to talk about the Mocks as this week I realised it's around a month until them and each time I think about them, my throat tightens and my heart thumps with worry and stress. This week the Leaving Cert timetable was released, which I swiftly printed out and stuck at my study desk as one of my 'motivating pieces'

I realise I've never talked about my 'motivating pieces' at my study desk! They are random things to keep me motivated and determined to achieve the best I can in the exams. For example, one is a quote of ''She turned her can't into cans and her dreams into plans' as I want and desire for the same to happen. Another is a poster of the college I want to attend, a letter from said college, the Leaving Cert timetable and also a small photo of me aged twelve.

A photo of myself you ask? It sounds weird doesn't it? It's not out of vanity (trust me I wasn't the most photogenic twelve year old) It's a passport sized photo and it was taken when I was in Sixth Class, so I'm wearing my primary school uniform in it. I keep it at my desk so whenever I feel like giving up studying or feel frustrated with study, I look at the photo of 'the little girl' and I know - I need- to make this little girl proud of who I have become. It's an incentive to be the best I possibly can be. It's based on the quote, ''If you spoke to your ten year old self, would they be proud?''  I want that little girl to know that I'm trying my utmost to achieve the dreams we share for the future.

I also paid my deposit on accommodation at the college I want to attend, which was a mentally daunting experience. It's all becoming very real indeed. For years I've dreamt of going to college to do something I've always wanted to do. Now, it's all coming into place and I should be thrilled, but I'm utterly petrified at the same time. Time is going by so quickly I'm worried I'll fall behind, or something is going to happen and it'll all be over. I'm determined to keep studying and learning as intensely as ever, there's only six months left of this Leaving Cert and I'm focused on making it the best experience I can.

Everyone in school is generally talking about Leaving Cert timetables, Debs and of course Mocks. We were sitting at the bench at lunch when a GAA lad threw a ball of tinfoil at us, leading to the question of ''Who threw that?'' being raised by a friend of mine. I swiftly replied that it was 'The Peasants' which, in all honestly, led to dirty looks and raised eyebrows all round. Am I sorry? Not at all. In all honesty, if you comment pure and utter spam on my blog for no reason whatsoever, you should really realise that you're not a saint who's untouchable and shouldn't be offended by a mild word in comparison to what you have commented here.

I also hope to make another 'Letters to the Leaving Cert' video in the coming weeks, maybe the midterm after the Mocks? I've gotten some really positive feedback on the videos which is always a bonus! Even if they were ''so sad'' but it's a roller coaster of a year full of ups and downs, I just have to focus on the positives.

Photos from my week!

My advice on life.

Some weird snaps I sent to Grace.

The epitome of my life as of late.

*cries in the corner*

Let us pray indeed.

My Godmother gave me the cutest Christmas present ever, in particular this mug with the yummiest hot chocolate! Thank you :D

I finished this last week. I've always been a massive fan of the Shopaholic series, I'm so excited for the next book! 

Stay Strong, Happy & Fearless!

                                                                       Aveen xx

*Lyrics: Hozier - Sedated.
Definitely one of my favourite songs at the moment, whenever I have spare time I have his album on repeat!

Supporting Aware and #BeatTheBlues Campaign

Hey Everyone!

So this blog post is a little different to the rest. Today I want to write about Aware and the brilliant services they provide to people in Ireland and how they are ''Your supporting light through depression.''

In Ireland and all over the world, mental health illnesses are common yet many people hid their illness in shame and embarrassment. It's perceived to a 'weakness of character' and a 'fatal flaw' of a person. It doesn't have to be this way, and Aware have been and still are working hard to break down this stigma that has dominated Ireland for too long.

From their website it's easy to access information about mental illness such as depression, with startling statistics that ''depression affects 450,000 in Ireland at any one time'' That is A LOT of people, it's not just a number, their real people with lives, families and friends. The website is clear and makes finding information on depression easy and has lots of useful links.

Aware also have a #BeatTheBlues campaign which is a free programme for secondary schools in Ireland. #BeatTheBlues is a positive mental health campaign for senior-cycle students in secondary school. Just last Monday I attended the programme as every Sixth Year student in my school had been attending at different times throughout the week.

I can honestly say it was two class periods well spent. We received a booklet and discussed 'The Coping Triangle'  and how to form a coping sentence from using your concerns. I found the coping sentence so effective as I'm in Sixth Year, I'm really worried about getting good test results and achieving all my goals in the Leaving Cert next June. I found that writing down my thoughts, feelings and actions so helpful to articulate my worries about school and my future.

I felt that the programme was brilliant to attend, especially early into Sixth Year, it has since alleviated my stress with studying and the breathing technique we learnt has been quite useful too. We also got to keep the booklet which I've been reading in my spare time and made me realise that I don't have to study 24/7, it's better to study effectively for a short time, rather than study badly and not absorb information for 6 hours straight. It's better to take a break and do something you want to do, like write a blog post!

Aware also have a campaign video here which features graffiti artist Hyerografx and accurately portrays how mental health is so important to us all.

In the midst of studying for exams, it's important to take time to relax and rest :) 

I hope you all enjoyed reading this blog post, if you want to find out any more information about depression or Aware, here is their website. There's lots of easily accessed information and remember, it's okay not to feel okay. 

Stay Strong, Happy & Fearless!

Aveen xx