Saturday, 31 May 2014

Every Lesson Forms A New Scar, They Never Thought You'd Make It This Far..

Hey Everyone!

This week I finished Fifth Year and my Summer Exams! *Happy dance* So I won't be back in school until late August/early September to start Sixth Year, aka my last year in secondary school. I personally find typing that sentence both exhilarating and also quite, quite terrifying.

I finished up exams on Thursday at lunch time which was nice I have to say. Ever since I've basically stayed at home on Tumblr, tried to finish packing for my trip to the Gaeltacht (It's on Tuesday, my nerves are shot at this stage) and went to Costa two days in a row for a 'Last Supper' of a Costa drink.

I printed a map and directions to the Gaeltacht for my Mam and her first response was ''WAIT, YOU'RE ON AN ISLAND FOR THREE WEEKS?'' She also suggested that it's ''Next stop America from there'' So you can basically picture me being on an island speaking Irish, surrounded by bogs, sheep and stone walls  and being over an hour away from Galway city, this will be interesting!

If you're wondering if my blog will remain active for the duration of the trip, the answer is YES :) I have enlisted in the help of some lovely bloggers who have written guest posts on various topics which will all be posted sometime during the 3 weeks I'm away. I also have written some posts myself but I will be out of contact with the interwebs until June 25th.

Maybe an internet detox is what I need at the moment. After finishing Fifth Year I feel that I need to get away for a while, so many this will be 'killing two birds with the one stone' as it were. I feel that I'm, in a way, too connected to the internet and my thumb is on the pulse of the internet far too often. Once I wake up I check my emails, Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. I check those websites continuously throughout the day. I think that a detox for three weeks would do no harm, but I will really, really miss blogging, tweeting my bloggers friends and just communicating with everyone. It's going to be hard to adjust but we're allowed to write letters over there which is good!

I honestly am not quite sure what else to say about this week. I basically spent the majority of it cramming, sleeping and panicking over exams, which is always a great way to spend your time. I subsequently spent the other half of the week just reblogging gif's of Dan & Phil and whatever else popped up on my dash.

my latest YouTube video!  Titled ''Negativity On The Internet'' If you liked it please give it a thumbs up or comment! 

Selfie with my Costa today

Sitting in The Sibling's Room 

''Aveen have you packed for the Gaeltacht?'' 
''Everything including the kitchen sink''

Sadly, this seems to be my last post until June 25th at the least. 
I can feel butterflies of nerves as I type these last few sentences as I really don't want to leave the blogging world for three weeks, but it'll be worth it and I will be coming back. 
'Till Then,
Stay Strong, Happy & Fearless, I will miss all of you so much!
Slán Abhaile.
Aveen xx

**Lyrics: Taylor Swift ~ Eyes Open

Saturday, 24 May 2014

The Worst Enemy To Creativity Is Self-Doubt ~Sylvia Plath

Hey Everyone!

This week was an utterly crazy and surreal week! I've been studying every night as my Summer Exams are starting next Tuesday *shaky laugh of fear* Due to studying I've been very quiet on the interwebs, my laptop wasn't used from Sunday until Friday evening! I guess it's good that I'm 'weaning' myself off the internet for when I'm in the Gaeltacht.

My awards ceremony in school was on Monday during school time. Basically it's awards from the school for good grades, attendance, sports, music, art, drama, public speaking and lots more. The Principal and Year Head give inspirational speeches about next year (Leaving Cert) and hand out awards whilst everyone else awkwardly claps.

It's quite difficult predicting if you'll get any awards, especially as there's over 250 students in my year all 'competing' for a limited number of awards. I was thrilled to receive 5 awards, it was a total and utter shock! I received two awards for public speaking, as I was a member of the school public-speaking team during the year. One was a little trophy from the school and one from Mental Health Ireland for participating in their public speaking competition. Another was for having a 'Star Journal' basically my journal was very tidy, another was an 'Academic' given only to the top 29 academically in the year, (I was so shocked because there's over 250 in the year) and the last award was being nominated for Student Of The Year, only ten people get nominated each year so I was screaming internally.

I was absolutely thrilled with my awards, I usually get a couple of awards each year but I felt absolutely ecstatic afterwards! Congrats to the boy and girl who won Student Of The Year (Won't name you as I didn't ask permission) you both genuinely deserve the award :D

I had some exams during the week, I had my German and Irish orals (a speaking test) during the school week which were quite stressful. It went well though, I learnt off my sraithpictiur so it went okay! My German teacher even gave me an A for my test so hopefully my written test on Tuesday will be okay.

Today I spent the morning studying, in particular Sylvia Plath for English. I only revised three poems in detail because I felt if I studied more I'd want to put my head in an oven like she did. (Bad pun I know) In honour of Plath and her poetry (which can be quite interesting but depressing)

Afterwards I went to my Cousin's Communion which was brilliant fun. There was two bouncy castle's so guess who went on both? Me, naturally. We all  had a brilliant time. My lovely Aunt gave me the Wi-Fi password so I spent the majority of the time sending snapchats and occasionally socialising.

 I titled this blog post using one of her quotes. I felt that it's a very accurate quote, self-doubt can destroy everything. It's something I suffer from a lot, worrying that I won't be ''good enough'' I feel that it's a huge problem within this current generation. We're all made to feel inadequate in all aspects of our lives, which isn't right. Even a simple awards ceremony like the one I was at this year made me worry about whether I was ''good enough'' to get any awards. I actually couldn't eat my lunch before the awards, I was that worried I'd end up with no awards and was anxious about how I would be perceived because of that.

 I think it's wrong that a girl should feel ill because she's scared she's going to fail. Why are we all trained to believe that we have to be the best and if we aren't the best we're ''failures'' or ''nothing''?  I was lucky, the odds were in my favour, but imagine my self-esteem if I didn't receive any awards? I don't like the feeling or opinion that because you didn't receive an award or the grade you desired that you're a 'failure.' I don't agree with it, especially as it's so prominent in school life. Everything is competition and you're 'inadequate' if you don't receive the best grades or if someone else gets a better mark.

 It feels like I'm in a constant rat race, everyone tries to be the best, but nobody is perfect. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Nobody is perfect, it's an impossible expectation which we are all expected to reach, and feel inadequate because no matter how hard we try, we can't be perfect. Something's got to give. The ideology that we all have to perfect is ridiculous and causes further stress and anxiety, in particular to students. It's a marathon, not a sprint which is something everyone needs to remember.

So that's about it from me this week, I'll be spending the rest of the weekend studying, thankfully my exams begin on Tuesday and end on Thursday, then the summer holidays begin then I'm gone for three weeks to speak Irish in Galway, oops. 
 If you're doing exams, best of luck! You'll be grand!
Stay Strong, Happy & Fearless!
Aveen xx

Photo's from my week!

Selfie with my cousin..

I stole my brother's phone and sent snapchats to all his friends.. 

Selfie with The Sibling. I hope I got better genes.. ;)

Beside one of the bouncy castles!

My awards from the awards ceremony. *cries because shock*

One of my snaps

A random selfie with Dad. I think he'll have to practise the whole selfie thing.. 

Sunday, 18 May 2014

As You Wait Alone, Hiding Tears Of Doubt..

Hey Everyone!

I've spent the last week or so studying like a maniac for my summer exams so apologies for being quiet here, Twitter and Tumblr. I can't honestly believe that the school year has less than two weeks left. The first day of Fifth Year seems like only yesterday. In September I'll be starting my last year of secondary school, a thought that seems just crazy and utterly surreal!

Due to the incoming exams, I haven't been doing a lot recently that is of much interest. 'The Random Life of Aveen' hasn't been that random as of late, more filled with stress, fear and doubt due to exams and teachers nicely telling us to study.

On Tuesday in Ag Science we went to a nearby field with oil seed rape, which is then turned into rape seed oil! It's a bit of a tongue twister to say out loud. Our teacher told us to take selfies with the crop so here's mine! As I'm a 'senior student' by being in Fifth Year, we're allowed to wear blazers instead of the woolly jumpers. They're actually quite comfortable and you stand out from the sea of jumpers in the school too which is strange at times.

On Thursday morning we had a fire drill in school which was eventful! The fire alarm goes off so often in our school that we just generally ignore it, like if there ever was a fire we'd probably all burn to death. The entire drill took around half an hour which was good as it was during class time!

Down below you'll see I bought a toy sheep, who I've named Claudia! The town I live in is hosting 'Golden Shears' ie the Sheep Shearing Olympics in a way. Needless to say the entire town has gone crazy with sheep related items. I love sheep so I think it's just brilliant that everywhere is covered in sheep. All the shop windows have sheep related displays and some of the election posters even have sheep related puns which I found was hilarious. Nearly all the shops are selling sheep teddies which is just adorable.

I told my Mam that I'm bringing Claudia The Sheep to the Gaeltacht, but she said I'd have to give her an Irish name when I'm over there, so she's now called 'Sive' as I recently read the play of the same name. Wow the optimism!

Saturday had brilliant weather. I went down the town to go to Costa and practically everyone was in shorts or summery clothes which is very strange for Ireland. I went into town, did a few things and bumped into my friend Nora so we spent a while chatting before I went home to study, fun.

My brother finished his third year in University on Saturday as well, which is annoying because I've become used to being the only child at home for most of the year! *Cries* At least September isn't too long away...

Photo with the field, holla. 

''Hey Aveen what have you been up to lately?''

Say hello to Claudia The Sheep!

These are the types of snapchats that I send... 

*Lyrics: Birdy ~ Shine

That's about it from me for this week!
Stay Strong, Happy & Fearless!
Aveen xx

Saturday, 10 May 2014

The Handwriting Tag!

Hey Everyone!

Here is my post about 'The Handwriting Tag!' Enjoy!
Ps. I scanned these pages onto my laptop if you're wondering why it may be slightly discoloured.

Sunday, 4 May 2014

The Myths Of Being A Lifestyle Blogger

Hey Everyone!

So today I'm writing about 'The Myths Of Being A Lifestyle Blogger' I know I have only been writing TRLOA for just over a year now, however I have noticed some things being said both online and also away from the computer screen about being a lifestyle blogger.

One of the biggest myths I've come across is that lifestyle bloggers have ''perfect lives''
Someone once said this to me in real life and I honestly just stood and stared at them in shock. My life is far from perfect I can assure all of you. As a seventeen year old Irish girl in Fifth Year with a Leaving Cert next June and Summer exams in little under a month, my life isn't ''perfect'' and trust me, never has been.

From reading other blogs, it's easy to assume lifestyle bloggers have perfect lives. We cut out the imperfections and blemishes both in our appearances and life stories, mentioning the ''good bits'' or as I like to call it ''the highlights reel.'' People compare our ''highlights reel'' with their ''outtakes'' and ''behind the scenes'' of their lives. You will rarely seen my ''outtakes'' or ''behind the scenes'' only the ''highlights.'' These will be completely parallel, they will never meet nor will these be identical.

I write about the good things in my life, a funny joke with friends, a photo I took of flowers and everything in between, emphasising even a small moment in my life that made me smile. I rarely write about waking up at 3 am every night from vivid nightmares or just for no reason, with my heart thumping with fear about the Leaving Cert, school, exams or  worrying about getting enough points to go to the college I want. That is the reality of my life, the fear of failure and a fear of underachieving in life, not the 'perfect life' apparently all lifestyle bloggers have.

Another myth or stereotype is that ''Lifestyle bloggers are too obsessed with themselves and their own lives''
I've been told that by writing about my life that I am ''vain and self obsessed'' and also ''want everyone to fall in love with my life.'' I never started The Random Life of Aveen as a means to 'brag' or to try put others down. I started blogging because I love writing. Writing is a huge part of me. I've been writing a diary since I was ten years old and I'm eighteen in September. That's a lot of notebooks about my emotions, life, hopes and ambitions.

I really don't want people to fall ''in love with my life'' Not trying to be self-deprecating but as stated earlier, my life isn't perfect. I don't want others to try mimic my mistakes or the ''good things'' I've done in my life. Everyone has their own lives and life paths to lead and this is mine. You just know about my life path as I write about my life.

Lifestyle bloggers aren't obsessed with themselves. We post photos of everything and anything that has meaning to us. I used to post photos back in 2013 of attending mental health conferences, award ceremonies, visits to tv sets, Croke Park and lots more. This was because that's what my life was like during Transition Year hence the title ''The Random Life of Aveen'' This year I'm in a serious school year, and next year will be even more so. Which is why I post photos of even the small things in life that make me happy, we all need something, however insignificant they appear to be, to make us feel happy.

I may post a lot of selfies and in the eyes of some people that's a sign of being ''shallow and vain'' and that I should stop ''obsessing over my appearance'' How does taking a photo of my face or clothes for my blog deem me as being a vain and shallow individual? It's become a more socially accepted idea to hate your own body with every ounce of your being than to realise that we're stuck with our bodies for the duration of our entire lives. 

We're always going to want to change an aspect of our appearance. I wish I had better eyesight, a smaller nose and lots of other things but I don't let that dictate my life. Nobody is perfect and we have to realise this. The idea of hating ourselves and picking out our flaws and imperfections, and doing the same with complete strangers is getting out of control.

 Judging a person merely on their appearance, not their personality, intelligence, humour, laugh, smile, music interests, hobbies and much more is just ridiculous. This ideology completely limits people into thinking that if they're ''pretty'' that's all that matters in life. That's not the case. I'm not pretty at all but I don't let that and the opinions of others stop me from achieving the best I can in life. I like to think that I make up for those ''flaws'' in my personality, I try to be kind, smile, laugh and be myself. 

The next time you call a lifestyle blogger, or anyone for that matter, those sort of names, think again. Just think about what you're thinking and saying about people you know in real life or only know from the laptop screen. I get various off-the-cuff comments about my blog, personality and appearance, in both real life and online,  but I don't let them get me down any more. So long as you know you're a good person (and act like it) and try your utmost best in life that's all that matters. 

So I hope you liked this blog post about the myths of being a lifestyle blogger. It took a long time to write this but I feel it conveys exactly how I feel about the myths surrounding being a lifestyle blogger. Thanks for reading this and you can comment below if you have any opinions on the post. 

Of course, blogging isn't all negativity, I love posting every week and I've made so many friends by blogging. 
Stay Strong, Happy & Fearless!
Aveen xx